I just felt like writing this morning about my excitement and anticipation for things to come. It’s been kind of a crazy week or two around here. The weather is changing, the holidays are fast approaching, and there is that feeling of hibernation and winter chill lurking in the air. This weekend I took a sweet puppy, that I had been fostering, over to her new adoptive family. It made me feel so sad and lonely when she left and all these emotions came over me this weekend. Old feelings of regret, worrying over my lack of work, money woes, having an empty nest, and the general gloom I feel when winter is approaching.
Tonight is the last class in my teacher training program for this year. We will be saying goodbye to the third year students who have essentially ‘graduated’ as of tonight. I look back on this year and think about how I felt when I started the program. Even though I have so much work still to do on my path to teaching, I’ve come a long way. I’ve made some wonderful yogi friends in the program, learned so much about yoga philosophy and anatomy, and I began teaching my peers, which is something I’ve never done before. I’m partly excited and partly nervous to have this break before we start up again in the new year. I hope to take the free time to get a jump start on next year’s assignments and to find some friends, or strangers, that I can start to teach on a somewhat regular basis. I hope I will use this time to read more philosophy and to strengthen my on-again-off-again pranayama practice. But I also hold the fear that I will squander this time and not make good use of it. I’m definitely one of those people that needs structure and framework. I need that looming deadline, otherwise it’s too easy to put it off to another day.
The good news is I have a couple of really great things to look forward to. My senior teacher, Manouso Manos, is coming for a workshop in December. A full weekend of classes with him will be just the right thing to keep me on track if I’m waivering. I’ve also just signed up for the Yoga Journal Conference in San Francisco held in January 2011. I think it’s over-priced and there are not a lot of Iyengar teachers, very few actually, that are participating this year. BUT, and that’s a big but, Patricia Walden is coming!! She is a senior teacher that I highly admire and very rarely get to study with. She lives on the east coast and rarely makes her way out this far for workshops or classes. So I’m thrilled she is coming to my hood and I’ve just signed up for two sessions with her, four straight hours of classes. I can only afford a day pass this year, so I’m just taking the Saturday sessions. But I was able to get into both of her classes that day and couldn’t be happier. She is teaching an all-day intensive on Friday, which I’m sure will be wonderful too. If I was working full-time and making some dough I would sign up for that too. But hey, I’m still lucky to even get an afternoon with her!
Long story short, even though recently it has been a time of sadness and introspection for me, I have a lot of things to look forward to and the excitement of that is pulling me out of my weekend funk. I just wanted to share my lighter mood since it has been hiding from me recently.
Happy Diwali and Sal Mubarak to all who celebrate. It’s a New Year and a time to look forward to new things. I hope you all have something to look forward to.